An's Blog

Bruh... lookbook

24th of May, 2026

BRUH I want to make a lookbook here ughhh!!! I KEEP FORGETTING.

Cut my hair and wish I was a boy

24th of May, 2026

I find myself hot, I find myself pretty. But I would have less insecurities as an amab, I think. I WANT to be afab and I don't want surgery. I'm bigender and being afab is i feel more "for me". But I still wish that I would be seen as both a girl and a boy. Why wasn't I friends with both guys and girls in elementary school? Why couldn't I be one of the boys? The answer's simple: I was a girl. I wish I was treated like both. But is it even possible?

I wish I was a shapeshifter. I truly do. I just cut my hair. But with shorter hair I unfortunately look more like a girl. I wish I looked boy-ish even with my favourite hairstyle, too :(

Here's a picture of me now. Kinda ate ngl. But like... shit's sad. Being trans is sad. At least for me. At least I have a lot of trans friends and we understand each other ig. I love them.♡

My hair looks so stupid here LMFAO but it's just not styled, yk.

EEEEEEEK!!!!

20th of May, 2026

GUYS I'm getting better at coding in Godot!!! Every time I manage to make something new in my cutesy game that is actually WORKING I get SO happy!!! :D

My Neocities r... kinda ugley

20th of May, 2026

LIKE... i like my sites. But I literally can NOT improve them. I don't know how. I hope there are some tutorials on yt.

GUYS IM SO SLAYINGGGG

19th of May, 2026

Check out my art project on Neoctitiesss!!!! So far only starting but it's already looking great omg!!! :D You can always visit it by clicking "Games" in my menu, there's a link to it :3 I hope anyone reads this btw, I haven't been active for a LOOONG time. And I haven't replied to one email from a person from here too :(( I need to write back but I'm overwhelmed with everything... If you're reading this: Hi, I'll write back soon haha :)

Pretend you saw nothing

18th of May, 2026

I'm making a video game and a part of my page will be dedicated to that :P I'm hyped tbh :3

Game projects

13th of May, 2026

I've been doing a lot of programming on Godot lately. It's hard to focus on one project when I have so many ideas 😭 I hope I will finish the prototype of my cutesy game soon. Currently I'm working on: 1. a cutesy, simple game, 2. an occult inspired one, and 3. i lowkey want to make a goblincore one, but... uhhh is that too many project at once? hahah

Neocities is awesome, and Canine Swag rulez

8th of May, 2026

I really want to get back here. I have art to post!!! :D

It'll be fine...

8th of May, 2026

It's almost 10am. The exam is in 4 hours. I'm scared. But I'll have so much free time when it's all over. It doesn't have to be perfect, right? ://

Why I'm not posting

7th of May, 2026

I have an exam tomorrow and I'm locked in!!! At least I'd like to be. Two days ago I lived through the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me so it's kinda hard to focus. I'm shaking all the time bruh. Eh. Wish me luck on that exam guys... gulp...

Update on clothes + Lookbook?

15th of April, 2026

I'm just giving them away to my friends tbh lol 😭 It's too much work with Vinted.

But when my closet is totally cleaned up, I'll maybe finally put a lookbook here with some of my outfits....... 😈

Vinted

11th of April, 2026

I FINALLY put some of my clothes up for sale on Vinted. I've been procrastinating it for like... gulp... two.. two years....

A message to my dear pen pals, if you are reading this: I am SO busy right now, but I PROMISE I will write back!!! Love yall!!! :D

WIP

1st of April, 2026

I'm gonna make art cards with a little bit of lore! I'm very excited! I'm now drawing the first character :3

It's freeing to make new lore that is not tied to the one single fantasy world that I've been making since 2020 lol.

This girl's name will probably be Cristina. She's a human (in this lore we've got also other creatures) and she has been cursed to always expierence cold. That's why she wears earmuffs all the time!

I'm gonna be a model eeeek!!!

31st of March, 2026

My friend studies art and I'm gonna pose for her photos today omgggg!!!!!! I'm so excited! :D

Lavender wife

30th of March, 2026

There's this friend of mine. She is literally the ONLY person that I know that has NEVER made me upset or even slightly annoyed. I've known her for over half a year now, and that's a lot of time to piss someone off. But she never did piss me off and she still never does.

She is very dear to me and it's hard to express it. I don't have a crush and I wouldn't want to be with her, but I feel like we're kind of like Ariana and Cynthia you know?

We both play Everskies. Some time ago I asked her if I can call her my lavender wife there. I had that idea because I want to express my love for her and how close I feel our relationship is, but with an emphasis on the "platonic" nature of it. And since I'm mostly into guys, and as far as I'm aware, she's only into girls, I thought it would be funny to call this "marriage" of ours lavender.

Yesterday I sent her a lot of gifts on Everskies. She made a post about it and tagged me, calling me her husband. That's so cool!!!

I'm still kind of unsure, in a sense that I tend to be over-affectionate and too clingy. I hope she doesn't mind that I like showing her that I like her. People can feel akward in situations like that. For example when someone sings you "Happy Birthday". These are nice situations, but you don't really know how to behave. At least that's how I always feel.

I hope she really is comfortable with all of this. I think she is, thankfully. And I know, I'm the one who stresses too much. She seems to be very chill about it haha

Peace,

An ✌️

Commissions

29th of March, 2026

I'm thinking about opening art commissions, but I don't know how to price my work... ughhhh

Erasmus crashout

25th of March, 2026

A guy I know from uni is going to take part in Erasmus beginning this October. Yesterday when we were hanging out he was trying to convince me to go with him. At least that's how I understood what he was saying hah.

But guess what? I'm going to be repeating this year. This situation is so ass. Ugh. Cause, yeah, I'd like to go I guess? But this fuckass PTSD had to make me drop out in the middle of the first year of studying. I hope to God this time I'm gonna feel better and that I will actually be able to be a student. But oh GODDDD you can't go on Erasmus during your first year!!! I WANT TO GO TO ITALY WITH HIM LOWKEY HELLO????? Fuck my stupid baka life or whatever Seneca said.

Peace

Or yk what, no peace

Fuck this shit sorry

xD

24th of March, 2026

Okay so that's pretty random, but I just needed to say that:

Seeing a Polish politician use "xD" in his tweet was NOT on my 2026 bingo list BUT I'm sure it's already happened before a million times, I'm just not really on twitter 😭.

"XD" became such a Polish thing that it's so fucking hilarious I can't 😭😭😭 HOW did that happen?

First essays

24th of March, 2026

Haiiii

I already started writing like... 2 or 3 essays to put here but I always eventually give up. Why is it so hard to finish anything? It's not a matter of ADHD at this point, I just haven't written anything in a long time so it's hard not to get discouraged when I hit a wall.

Also, I feel this overwhelming pressure. There are lots of essays online, why would anyone want to read mine? I know, it's a pretty inaccurate mindset in this situation, but I can't seem to be able to change it.

I think that what is important in this moment is just finishing anything. It doesn't need to be perfect. It just needs to be something 😭.

See ya,

An

Stage fright and a pen pal?

22nd of March, 2026

What's up?

I really want to share my site on Everskies, but I'm so scared people aren't gonna like it!!! I don't even know what to expect from my own blog, so how can other people know? But maybe that's part of the fun? I don't know... By the way, I want to start writing my first essay to put here. I have a few ideas, now I just have to decide which one to write first. Two days ago I wrote an email to a fellow neocities citizen! I don't know much about them, but they seem very cool and I'm happy that I can say that I "know" someone from here at least a little. Makes me feel like I belong. Here is their page:

Blerg's page!!!

Count on me pls, empty void of the Internet!!!

Peace out,

An

Meow

21st of March, first day of Spring, 2026

Hi!

This is where the content is supposed to be. All this html and css stuff is pretty hard ngl. But I'm having lots of fun! Soon I'll start blogging :3 I guess I'm already doing it? Whateverrr...

Peace out,

An